I have these wild daydreams and goals of blogging all.the.time.
But life is hurtling by like BMWs on the Autobahn.
Adding a fifth child to our family chaos has been wonderful and wild.
We have 2.5 months under our belts with Big Z and celebrated his first birthday with us today.
I realize every day how although he came to us a toddler, every day has been sort of like a maternity leave.
Sleep deprivation, constant holding, others clamoring for attention, you name it.
This week 3/5 kids were sick and snoozing all over the house, waking periodically and asking for water or needing cuddled for long periods of time.
I think about the oldest two, and our homeschooling which has evolved into Home Economics as the main course lately.
I almost fall into the trap of thinking that they will get behind, whatever that means.
But they are learning amazing things about life.
“So he doesn’t have a mommy and a daddy? Why not?”
Education has many forms, and if I survived 16 schools by the end of high school they will survive this blip on their lifegraph.
In fact, I think it has the potential to enhance it, if I don’t get too sucked into the whirlpool but take the time to discuss these things earnestly with them.
And I am constantly having deep conversations with strangers about why on earth we would adopt a child with a “problem” when we already have 4 that are so expensive to raise.
Every time I say our life is joyful, I get frank looks of shock in return.
The reason for our desiring to give this child a family is the same reason we are even here–God compels us to obey him in this matter, even if it doesn’t quite make sense from a pragmatic perspective.
But the joy is there–truly, deeply and mingled with hope, because we are relying on Him for our strength.
And the daily rewards are there, when I look for them.
Now, the reward is my pillow. Goodnight.