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I have these wild daydreams and goals of blogging all.the.time.
But life is hurtling by like BMWs on the Autobahn.

Adding a fifth child to our family chaos has been wonderful and wild.
We have 2.5 months under our belts with Big Z and celebrated his first birthday with us today.

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I realize every day how although he came to us a toddler, every day has been sort of like a maternity leave.
Sleep deprivation, constant holding, others clamoring for attention, you name it.

This week 3/5 kids were sick and snoozing all over the house, waking periodically and asking for water or needing cuddled for long periods of time.

I think about the oldest two, and our homeschooling which has evolved into Home Economics as the main course lately.
I almost fall into the trap of thinking that they will get behind, whatever that means.

But they are learning amazing things about life.
“So he doesn’t have a mommy and a daddy? Why not?”
Education has many forms, and if I survived 16 schools by the end of high school they will survive this blip on their lifegraph.
In fact, I think it has the potential to enhance it, if I don’t get too sucked into the whirlpool but take the time to discuss these things earnestly with them.

And I am constantly having deep conversations with strangers about why on earth we would adopt a child with a “problem” when we already have 4 that are so expensive to raise.

Every time I say our life is joyful, I get frank looks of shock in return.

The reason for our desiring to give this child a family is the same reason we are even here–God compels us to obey him in this matter, even if it doesn’t quite make sense from a pragmatic perspective.

But the joy is there–truly, deeply and mingled with hope, because we are relying on Him for our strength.

And the daily rewards are there, when I look for them.

Now, the reward is my pillow. Goodnight.

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2 responses »

  1. What a beautiful testament to parenthood! I also have learned about joy and how different it is from happiness. How deep and profound and wonderful, despite life’s challenges and difficulties. As always, thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts and feelings with us. How awesome to be on this journey with you! As always, you are in my thoughts every day. Air hugs!!!!! ❤

  2. Precious ones, you are all loved ! Eva, your humor is healthy as you express the joys in the midst of a variety of distractions that parenthood offers. I think about the workload for you young parents, I think about your exhaustion and Pr for you all! Yeah for the pillow! PTL for the opportunities you experience!Happy Birthday to Da Ze!

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